We all have some sort of deficiency when it comes to communication. Whether it be in a professional, face-to-face interpersonal, or even in a scholarly setting. I have always been able to speak my mind in the professional setting. At work, I don't shy away from bringing new idea's to management, even if I feel it could improve the work environment or possibly be hurt it as well. Regardless, I still speak with an assertive and professional voice. In the classroom, I have been progressing more and more. The one thing I really need to work on, is not just raising my hand thinking I have an answer. When in reality, I have a partial thought that hasn't been fully developed and completed. But, most of the time, I have a passive/assertive voice. I'm also not afraid to ask question's, even if I need the professor to repeat something, give another example of the the situation, or I will flat out say: "I'm confused and you lost me, can you put this in a way, so I can better understand it?" Some of the time, I might hear the occasional "Ugh," but I would rather be knowing than lost. Can I better myself in both of these atmosphere's? Definitely! But, I feel that there is one particular area, where I really need some help, and that is my interpersonal relationships with close family and friends.
When it comes down to a face-to-face personal conversation with friends and family (and even the complete stranger that might want to start a conversation with me), I have always been shy to say what I really feel. What I have noticed about myself, is that I don't want to offend other's. I'm always wanting to please, and not be disliked. I can joke around and be playful about situations at hand, but when it comes down to actually having a conversation with meaning, I get tense, nervous, and feel that I may say something that the other's might comprehend as: selfish, inconsiderate, not "politically correct," or harmful. I've had this problem since I was young child, and maybe that was because in my household, the children were to been seen, not heard. Another thing that I have noticed, is that when I actually do speak my mind, with emotion and meaning, people never want to take me seriously or believe that I actually feel that way. It gets to be an aggravating factor for me at least, because when I do speak this way people get offended and take things like I am attacking them.
What I want from communications studies, is to learn to be more assertive with personal encounters when it comes to dealing with emotion. I want people to take me seriously and not look at me just as some goofy guy that enjoys joking around all the time. I want the respect from other's and make sure people don't take what I say so personally, but as constructive criticism. I also want my fear and anxiety of speaking at the personal level to be close to obsolete. Knowing I can conquer interpersonal communication between myself and another human being would be ideal as I progress through my communication studies.
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